Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Not a Big Deal


Donnie and I aren't really Valentine's Day people.  It's not that we think we're too cool or sophisticated to celebrate (believe me, we're about as unhipsterish as they come).  We're just not really into romance, or gift giving, or making big, emotional statements.  So for most of our thirteen years together, we've ignored V-Day almost entirely.

However, a big part of me thought that once we became parents, we'd do the whole Valentine-making, heart-shaped-cookie-baking thing.  You know, for the kids, who would certainly be heartbroken if we didn't make a huge fuss over each and every holiday.  But that hasn't really happened, either.

For one thing, have you ever baked with a toddler?  It's hard enough making regular-shaped anything, let alone decorative holiday-themed pastries.  And Trey doesn't have a ton of interest in crafts.  So aside from some heart-shaped decorations that my mom put up, and a few small gifts, our Valentine's celebration has been so muted as to be practically nonexistent.

Right now, that works for us.  In one year, or two years, or ten, we may be doing things completely differently - and that's fine by me.  I'm slowly learning to accept that the way we choose to live and celebrate and be happy should be determined not by some imaginary standard, but by our own changing personalities, preferences, and circumstances.

It's not a particularly easy lesson for me, but I'm working through it - mostly for Trey's sake.  I want him to grow up knowing that he should be true to himself, without regard for society's expectations (beyond a basic human decency, of course!)  In the meantime, I'll work on being okay with the fact that we rarely do things the way they're "supposed" to be done.

Do you "do" Valentine's Day?  With/for your spouse, or your kids?  Is it fun, or more of an expectation? 

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