A New Beginning, and Some Updates

Can't wait to meet this little peanut!

So ya’ll may have noticed that I stopped posting here for awhile.  It wasn’t really a conscious decision; I just got so tired of feeling obligated to write every day, and worrying about how my thoughts would be received.  I also hated the business side of blogging – the networking and the advertising and the affiliate programs.  I just wanted to write, not launch a full-scale social media campaign (which is funny, because I enjoy social media and digital marketing when I’m not doing it for myself!).  So I just stopped.

But after a few months of silence, I realized I missed having an outlet (and an audience!) for the meanderings of my crazy mind.  So I’ve decided to re-embrace this blog, but in a way that feels good and right for me.  I’ll write whenever I want, even if it means I disappear for weeks at a time.  I’ll also write whatever I want, even if that means long stretches where I post nothing but political rants or vegan recipes or cute pictures of Trey - and not a blessed thing else.

In that spirit, right now I’m going to do what feels right and jump right into a few paragraphs catching you up with my life over the past few months.

As many of you know, my grandfather was terribly ill for seven months (and his health hadn’t been great before that, either).  He passed away on October 8.  I’ve already unburdened my soul in great detail about this topic on Facebook, and I’m too weary to rehash it.  Suffice it to say, it was a terrible blow, even though it was expected.  You can never really prepare yourself for that kind of wrenching, life-altering loss.

In happier news, a few weeks ago, Donnie and I announced our pregnancy on Facebook.  We can’t wait until May to meet our new little bundle of joy.  We don’t know the gender yet, but we're very eager to find out – we’re way too impatient to wait for a surprise!

As delighted as we are by this pregnancy, it has come with a heavy burden.  I’ve been suffering severe pre-natal depression, so crippling that some days I wonder how I’m going to get out of bed.  I’ve been plagued with overwhelming sadness, anxiety, strong feelings of hopelessness, a very short temper, extreme fatigue, debilitating headaches, and occasional bouts of terrible confusion.  I hate talking about it, but at the same time I don’t really see many folks tackling this topic in the parenting blogosphere.  Most of the attention seems to be focused on the better-known, and much more common, topic of post-partum depression.

I experienced similar emotional trauma during my first pregnancy, but my symptoms disappeared immediately after Trey was born.  I have high hopes that the same will be true this time around.  In the meantime, I’m doing my best to relax, drink tea, make time for myself, and let go of minor irritations (I’m not doing very well, but at least I’m trying!) 

On November 20, I have my first appointment with a new midwifery office, where one of the practitioners specializes in treating hormonally-based depression.  She employs some complementary treatments, such as acupuncture and vibrational medicine, in her practice.  I’m curious to speak with her and see what she has to say about my particular case.  I’m rather terrified of acupuncture, and I generally think alternative medicine is a load of hogwash, but I’ll try to be open minded about her suggestions.

So that’s where I am in my life right now – thrilled to meet the new baby, while simultaneously depressed as hell.  Oh, and looking forward to completely spoiling Trey at Christmas.  But more on that later.  What have you been up to lately?